A few weeks ago, a friend of mine got beat up by her husband. He smashed a bottle over her head, hit her multiple times and ended up putting her in the hospital for a few days. He also threatened to harm himself.
She had no plans to call the police – but the police were called as per hospital policy. She has now put a restraining order on him and is in process of divorcing him.
What frustrates me is that it was that long ago – a month or two – that I came to her rescue. She had gotten into a terrible fight with her husband and she stayed with me for five days while I tried to support her and urged her to make arrangements to get out of what was already an explosive and bad situation. She refused, saying she loved him.
This situation makes me look back and see where I was when I was in my abusive relationship. I cried for days straight when I left him, and I didn’t tell social media about it. I didn’t really tell anyone about it, except my sister and a couple of close friends. My family had had no idea of the abuse until I told them. My friends were shocked.
It took me years of rebuilding to get past it, and to this day, I still struggle with the after-effects. I still respond in certain ways because of it. I like to think that I am a survivor and I am healed and have moved on. But then something happens and I am reminded that no, I’ve not completely moved on. And honestly, maybe I never will.
It’s easy to get frustrated and angry with people who are still in abusive situations and who don’t leave. It’s easy to get angry when they refuse to see what is so clearly seen from the outside. It’s easy to lose our empathy and understanding.
Be kind to each other. Support. Be honest, be blunt, but be kind.
For those of you who have left – what are your thoughts? For those of you who have not – what are yours?